i feel really like the flowing of the water... i do not have a single idea where i am heading towards.... the sense of loneliness has return.... feel like being left alone again..... just in one corner..... starting to get very worried after getting back my cts results...... worried for everything esp gp and my sciences...... haiz.... i really don't think i will be able to sail through a lvl's.... damn sad..... got sore eyes..... damn freaking painful.... and itchy.... and everything.... don't understand why.... ever since band chalet..... i don't feel even closer to the band members.... in fact..... i feel i am even further away from them..... prefer to stay alone from them or even isolate myself and stay away from them.... just don't feel right or comfortable anymore...... don't feel like talking anymore..... i think its just me....

went back from band chalet yesterday...... it was my furst chalet and i stayed overnight!!!!!!! (claps.... appluase....) it was quite fun.... but tiring cos we were overloaded...... chen yi came to me house to collect the beehoon in the morning..... stupid guy...... ask him to call me when he reached but he didn't... so when he finally msged me.... he said he is already at the bus stop for 5 mins....-_- i rushd out of the house..... but the stop is very far away.... so too bad loh who ask him not to call me....... when i got there i brought him over to te market. after we collect the beehoon..... we took a bus to amk to change to 88.... when we reach amk.... as usual... guys got no sense of direction.... we were figuring out which direction to take.... i was recalling which direction... cos i haven been taking 88 since sec 1... nevertheless i managed to recall and i was correct.....( lalalala ) stupid chen yi again when he board on the bus..... how many times i told him no to put the beehoon on the floor cos ppl will be eating it.... but he didn't listen..... so when sitting on the bus... he happily stepped on the beehoon!!!!!!!! haiz...... one hour later we reached pasir ris.... have to meet xin ellyne and kevin. went up the food court to look for them...... ate our lunch.... and we made our way down to NTUC to get the stuff for bbq.....bought 2 bacardi...... yum yum..... as it was very early after we got our stuff we decided to go downtown east first to play pool...... thanks to chen yi and kevin..... i finally know how to play pool..... pooled for an hour or so.... we went to buy the ice cubes...... and here come our famous joke.... ice wouldn't melt from ellyne....... lolx.... made our way real quick to Aloha cos of the ice that will melt supposedly.... met marrianne and a few of the banders at the chalet...... it was okay not very big but not bad.... they supplied alot of stuff..... two bedrooms with two single beds and two double decker beds..... i went into the room witht the single beds. singyi was reating in it.... not knowing that the next bed was broken.... i happily laid on it..... and it broke..... so we had to call the man to fixed..... went to the living room and played bridge..... i was in a winning spree.... won every game i played.... yea..... at around 5 plus.... me xin kevin ellyne and chen yi went back downtown east to get charcoal.......as it was still early.....we went into the arcade to play.... honestly.... i sucked at it....... the machine kept flashing you are loser..... wth loh...... went back to the chalet... and started to start the fire.... we gals sucked at staring the fire.... it took us like 1/2 hour the but.... the fire just would not start...... the guys all happily sat in the room playing ps2... finally chen yi and meng jie came and the fire finally started.........when the fire was finally hot.... we started to cook..... i cooked... yea.... first time cooking bbq stuff..... quite fun..... but very hot.... was pespiring like mad..... chen yi kept complaining that the fire is too hot..... and he will have no more fathers' day hahahah lol...... didn't eat much cos i was busy cooking and the sight of food disgusted me so..... poor angel..... she was our guinea pig.... tried all our first batch of food..... to make sure that they are cooked..... it was kevins birthday on wed...... so we celebrated his birthday on tue....... it was horrible..... first they pounced on him and tau pok..... they stipped him to his birthday suit and pour a hell lot of prickling powder on his ahem......... then they pour a hell lot of that powder on him........ second round.... they came out with pots of water and water bags..... note kevin still has the powder all over him..... so they happily drencehed him...... then they came out with a mixture of flour coconut milk eggs and water and splashed everything on him.... and in him....... the whole chalet was filled with flour....... and the rest of the people staying in the chalet looked at us in wide opened mouths...... poor kevin had to bath and i ate a bit for my dinner.... and the time is already like 11 plus..... after kevin came out i went to bath then played a little mahjong.....then i went out to crap with sir and the rest of the banders.... sir couldnt stand ellyne cos alot of sick stuff is coming out from her...... stupid vig went to bite my flip flops..... disgusting man..... at around 12 plus we went back in.... i played mahjong...... couldn't stand nicholas...... played three rounds.... it was already
2.30..... went in to the room to see xin they all play..... brushed my teeth at like 3..... wee min came into the room for forfiet...... sining hgis knock knock knocking on heaven's door..... lol... it was reallly monotone......i slept till about 2 hour plus....... then went to see sunrise with xin they all..... it was very cloudy....and the sun was blocked by the changi port and trees..... diao sianz...... playined at the beach for a while it was freaking cold........ then all of us went to macs for breakfast......... lalalal after which we went back to clear our stuff and home sweet home.....

i have no idea since when i fear darkness.... maybe long ago..... darkness freaks me out.... it makes me lose the sense of security.... maybe this is the reason i fear to go to sleep..... it is pitch dark at night.... help.....

gosh..... it has been like so long ever since i update my blog.... sheesh ct is just over argh..... it was quite crappy .....me xin cari and ann went to watch the big mama's house 2.... it was not bad....... freaking funny... the contents are not very sick though.... i expected sth more.... except for the " you wouldn't want to know what happen to my nipples" which cari found it sick... for some reason i don't know why..... it was quite sad marrianne who can't watch with us... cos i believe she will love it.... the toddler in that movie is so damn cute.... cari love him.... i bet she wish he was her son... but please no.... the toddler will just die if he got her as his mum....concert is abt one mth away.... and i still can't play the damn songs.... srgh... help.... i am so going to be screwed by alvin.....